Another Point of View
by MizScarlet
Summary: Day 4 of COE and beyond from Ianto's point of view.
1. Aftermath

_A/N: To anyone waiting for me to update one of my other stories, I haven't given up on them. Life got in the way of my writing and I kind of lost my momentum. I do plan on getting back to them eventually. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this one._

**Aftermath**

I've long expected that I would not live to a ripe old age. Dying young is just a part of working for Torchwood. My only hope was that Jack had learned his lesson and I wouldn't end up a walking corpse like Owen. It never occurred to me to pray that I wouldn't end up like Eugene. After all, I've never swallowed a Dogon eye. At least I don't think I have. I've swallowed a lot of strange things since meeting Jack, but I think I would have remembered an alien eyeball.

The first thing I remember after I died is seeing Jack collapse over my body as he died. It's rather strange seeing yourself like that, but it was also freeing in a way. Not much left to be afraid of when you're already dead. I was concerned for Jack, though. I knew, no matter what it was we had going on between us, that he wasn't going to take this well. He still hadn't stopped blaming himself for the deaths of Tosh, Owen, and even Suzie.

You might think that I'd be upset that I had confessed my love for Jack and he still hadn't said it back to me, not even as I lay dying in his arms. I'll confess that I would have liked to hear those three little words, but I didn't expect it. For Jack, saying "I love you" at that point would have been saying goodbye. He wasn't ready for that. I'm not sure he ever would be. What did surprise me was seeing Captain Jack Harkness backing down from an alien threat and actually begging for my life. He chose me over the rest of humanity. I never expected him to do that. That says more about his feelings for me than any words could.

The next thing I remember is seeing Jack come back to life in that makeshift morgue they set up for the bodies from Thames House. I stayed with him like I always do when he dies. I'm not sure, but I think he felt my presence. At least his revival seemed less traumatic than usual. Well, until he looked at my body lying next to him. Something inside him just seemed to break. It was as if he had hoped I had somehow survived even though he had watched me die, but seeing my body took away that last bit of hope. I wanted so much to comfort him, but he couldn't see or hear me. Neither could Gwen, who seemed almost as heartbroken.

I was grateful that Jack sent Gwen to my sister to help save my niece and nephew, but it broke my heart to see him giving up. That wasn't the Jack I knew. I couldn't believe that my death had this effect on him. I was beginning to understand why he had tried so hard not to fall in love. I guess it didn't work.

When they took Jack out of his cell so that he could help defeat the 456, I saw a bit of the old Jack reappear. His daughter had faith in him, and that was enough to give him some faith in himself. It wasn't until he realized that there was no time to find a mechanical way of delivering the frequency to the 456 that I saw him falter. It was beyond cruel forcing him to choose between his grandson and millions of children. It was also incredibly unnecessary. He had already done all the work. Anyone could have done the last part. The choice should have been taken out of his hands.

All they had to do was shoot him between the eyes and do what they needed to do while he was dead. By the time he revived it would have all been over and Steven's death wouldn't have been on his hands. His daughter would still be able to look at him without hatred and anger. If any one of them had a heart, they would have done this. After all, they had no problem killing him before, especially Agent Johnson. It should have been easy for her. She may have switched sides at the end, but I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she did to Jack.

This brings me to what I wanted to tell Jack, if he can still hear me on at least some level. Despite what it looked like, Steven wasn't in pain at the end. By that point, he was no longer in his body. It was just an empty shell, a vessel, serving one final function. Steven wasn't afraid and he wasn't alone. I was with him, and I explained what had happened and why. He wasn't angry, Jack. Actually, he was very proud that he was able to be a hero just like his Uncle Jack. He was a good little soldier. He was just glad that all those other children would be safe.

The only thing that bothered him was how upset his mother was. He wanted to comfort her, to tell her that he was alright and he was happy, but of course he couldn't. He was torn between staying and moving on to wherever he was supposed to go until I promised to watch over her for him. I don't think the darkness is it, Jack. I think that's just where you go when you either can't or won't move on. I don't know what he saw, but he wasn't afraid. He almost seemed eager to go. Don't grieve for us, Jack. We're not the ones who are suffering. If anything, it's the dead who should be grieving for the living, not the other way around. You're the ones who are in pain.

I'm still here, Jack, and I will be forever if I'm able. I have lots of people to watch over. There's you, Gwen, Rhys, and the baby of course. There's my sister and her family. But there's also Alice. I plan on keeping my promise to Steven. It may take a while to work on my influence, but I'm going to make sure she doesn't feel alone and hopeless. I'm also going to find a way to get her to forgive you. You need each other, more than either of you realizes. Just keep listening, Jack, and don't give up. Neither Steven nor I want that. We love you, and you better not forget it.


	2. It's Hard to Say Goodbye

**It's Hard to Say Goodbye**

Well, I've done something I never thought I'd do. I attended my own memorial service. It was a memorial service and not a funeral because the government refused to release my body. The Hub is destroyed, but I still managed to end up locked in a freezer indefinitely. I guess it's not too different from what I expected, just not where I thought it would be. Jack won't be able to visit and talk to me like he did with the others, though.

Speaking of Jack, he actually made it to the service. I can only imagine what Gwen threatened him with to get him to show up. He tried to sit in the back, but Gwen dragged him to the front. She couldn't get him to stand up and speak about me, though. I'm not surprised. Jack doesn't like showing his emotions publicly, and I don't think he'd be able to keep it in if he had to speak in front of everyone. Luckily Gwen was willing to do it for him.

That's right, not only did Gwen talk about her own relationship with me, she also made sure everyone knew about my relationship with Jack. Of course she couldn't just leave it at boss and friend. No, she had to go into detail about how much we meant to each other and how important it was that Jack was with me at the very end. Jack had to lean forward in his seat and hold his head in his hands just to hide the tears. It also meant that my sister realized that once again I hadn't told her what was really going on in my life. I don't think she needed to hear that. Or maybe she did, she certainly looked at Jack differently after that.

There was actually quite a crowd at the service. Friends and neighbors I hadn't spoken to since I first left home came to pay their respects, though I suppose it was more for Rhiannon's sake than mine. Rhys was there, of course, as was Andy which was a bit of a surprise. Lisa's family also came, and that was quite a shock. I wonder what they made of Gwen's speech about Jack and me.

I'm worried about my sister. She took my death a lot harder than I expected. She cries all the time and barely leaves the house. Shockingly, David has really gone out of his way to help with his sister and comfort his mother. I really underestimated him. I suppose I was prejudiced because of my feelings toward his father. Johnny really surprised me too.

When it was Rhiannon's turn to get up and say a bit about me, she didn't get far before dissolving in tears. It was hard to see my usually strong and tough sister that way. Johnny, however, not only got up to comfort Rhiannon, but continued in her place. I was touched by what he had to say, and I could finally see why Rhiannon married him. He's a bit rough and I never really enjoyed his company, but he truly loves my sister. He's loyal and caring when it counts the most. I guess that's what is really important.

Jack left as soon as the service was over; though he and my sister shared a look I'm not sure I understand. It seemed like an acknowledgement of each other's pain. I suppose they both loved me deeply, just in very different ways. I wish they had talked to each other. It might have helped both of them.

Gwen did stay and talk to Rhiannon. Gwen may have known very little about my past and my family, but Rhiannon knew even less about Torchwood and Jack. They decided to trade information. Gwen learned more about me than I ever wanted her to know, and Rhiannon heard details about my life that I never expected to share with her. It seemed to help both of them, though. My sister seemed comforted by the purpose I found in my job and the love I found with Jack. That's when she decided that Jack was now family, whether he liked it or not.

That decision led to what may or may not have been a mistake on my part. I got the brilliant idea to suggest to Gwen that she tell my sister about Alice and Steven. Of course she modified the story a bit so that Alice was Jack's sister and not his daughter. She told Rhiannon how they had been held hostage and how Jack was forced to sacrifice Steven in order to save all the other children, including my niece and nephew. Gwen also told her that this decision was forced on Jack just after he had lost me.

I really hadn't expected Gwen to go into that much detail. I just wanted Rhiannon to think of Alice as family as well. Alice was all alone, and Rhiannon needed someone to share her grief with. I thought they would be good for each other. I had no idea how she'd react to the story of Steven's sacrifice. I certainly didn't expect what she did next, or how it took on a life of its own.


	3. Never Forgotten

**A/N: I have been told that I ought to give tissue warnings, so here it is. I took so long to write this because I kept tearing up as I worked on it.**

**Never Forgotten**

My sister has a tendency to come off a bit rough and abrasive, but she has a kind heart. I've known this all my life and yet, I've never been prouder of her than I am right now. I've seen a depth of kindness in her that I could never have imagined. It's not just what she did but what she inspired others to do and that is what makes all the difference.

I expected Rhiannon to contact Alice in some way. Perhaps she'd invite her over for the holidays, or find some way to get Alice together with her family. I assumed she'd tell Alice about my relationship with Jack and my death and how that made them sisters. Once Rhiannon decided someone was family it was almost impossible for them to escape. I thought it would be good for Alice to belong somewhere, to be part of normal family life, but my amazing sister had planned so much more.

Rhiannon was never much of a letter writer, but that was how she decided to contact Alice. She did explain who she was and about Jack and me, but that was not all. She told Alice about David and Mica and the soldiers who came to take them away. She told her about trying to hide them and the other children and how they ultimately failed. She told her of the crying mothers and desperate fathers as they watched their children being taken away to a fate worse than death by a government that said they weren't worth anything. Then as a mother who nearly lost both her children to a mother who did lose her child, Rhiannon thanked Alice (and Steven) for saving her children's lives. She even included a picture of them, so Alice could see at least two of the children saved by her son's sacrifice.

Then Rhiannon wrote about how she knew this would do nothing to stop the pain Alice was feeling, but she wanted her to know that this above all made her a permanent part of the Davies family. David and Mica were now just as much Alice's children as Rhiannon's because, if it weren't for Alice and Steven, David and Mica wouldn't be here. Rhiannon wanted Alice to know that she wasn't the only mother that felt this way. She had made sure to tell as many people as possible just how their children were saved and at what cost. To hell with government cover-ups, if Rhiannon had anything to do with it, Steven would always be remembered for the hero he was and Alice's loss would never be forgotten.

As if that wasn't enough, the kids added their own bit. From now on, Alice was their auntie and Steven was their cousin. They would both be remembered for as long as David, Mica, and their families lived. They knew Alice was sad, but they wanted her to know that Steven would be okay if she let herself be happy once in a while. After all, that's what they would want for their mother. They ended the letter with a picture Mica drew and the hope that Alice would come visit them.

If I could have cried I would have, but that was only the beginning. Soon Alice began to receive letters and packages from other families. Not only did the people Rhiannon talked to contact Alice, but so did the people they told the story to and so on. I'd like to say the story made it around the world, but that's asking a bit much. It did make it around much of Wales and hit a few other spots in the UK. All the messages gave their heartfelt thanks and their sorrow for Alice's loss.

The messages were truly amazing. One mother, who was expecting her third child, promised to name the new baby after Steven and make sure that he and his siblings knew the significance of that name. There were many other promises of children to be named after him, including a twelve year old girl who promised to name her first son after him when she grew up to thank him for saving her little brother and sister. Judging from the letters, the next few years were going to see quite a jump in popularity for the names Steven and Stephanie among new babies in Wales.

Alice also received photos of the children who were saved. Their parents wanted her to be able to put names and faces to some of the children who were still here because of Steven. They all felt that, at least in some part, she was mother to all these children. Without her, the parents of millions of children would all be feeling her grief first hand. They would never forget what Alice and Steven had sacrificed, and they would both be in their hearts and part of their families for as long as those families went on.

All of that was very touching of course, but it was the messages from the children themselves that made me wish I still had tears to cry. One little girl drew a picture of Steven with wings so that, whenever Alice was sad, she could look at it and remember that he was an angel now and was watching over all the little children. There were other pictures of Steven in Heaven, smiling and waving to his mother. There were poems from some of the other children, and one very talented young man even wrote and recorded a song about Steven. They all said the same thing in one way or another: Thank you for bringing them home to their parents, thank you for saving their lives.

I was worried that this would be too much for Alice, but it wasn't. The pain didn't go away, of course, but it did seem to lessen. What did go away was the anger and loneliness, washed away by the tears brought on by this outpouring of gratitude and love. Alice wasn't alone with her loss. All of these people felt for her and understood because they had faced that same horrifying loss themselves. Steven didn't die for the government, or for some nameless and faceless number of children. He died for all of these little boys and girls whose parents loved them as much as she loved Steven. He died so that they would live and remember him and teach their own children how one little boy had saved millions.

Alice eventually did visit my sister and her family. They actually got along quite well despite how different they were. Rhiannon was true to her word and treated Alice just like a sister. I think she fussed over Alice just as much as she had ever fussed over me. I've even seen Alice smile once or twice when the kids had done something just for her. I'm still holding out hope that one day she will forgive Jack for his part in Steven's death. Maybe now she can see that he was able to do it, not because he's a monster, but because he felt responsible for all of the children of Earth, not just his own. I guess I just want her to be able to see Jack the way I see him, flawed and complicated but full of hope and determination to make things better no matter what it costs him.


End file.
